Chronic napper, big girl/big dreams, and professional elbow licker. If you wanna be my lover ya gotta get with my friends.
1. We may not be looking for eternal commitment, but we are always looking for something that means something. We value things for what they are, and we know better than to constantly want more. This doesn’t mean we won’t want marriage or something like it one day, (many of us do), it’s just that most people don’t think love can be genuine, real or life-changing if it’s not forever, but we know better. (We’ve learned.)
2. We’ve been through a lot. Suffering is what makes people tender and empathetic and open and wise and aware, but it’s also what makes them guarded and sometimes sensitive. We’ve been heartbroken too many times to immediately give our trust and emotional investment. We’re careful, and we’ll dish our whole life story when we feel like it’s important for you to know it. Speaking of:
3. We consider communication to be the deepest form of intimacy. We’ll talk for hours, about everything, about anything, about nothing. This applies across the board: we like to be communicative in bed, when issues arise, etc. We base how healthy a relationship is on how honest we can be, and how often we can be it.
4. We act tough, but really more than anything else, we want romance and to be taken care of as much as we’ll take care of you. Even if we don’t show it immediately, just being kind and sweet and thoughtful means the world to us. We’re really not about grand gestures of love as much as we are savoring the little moments, the genuine expressions of caring and interest.
5. Don’t belittle our dreams and plans because other people would consider our actual age “too young” for them. It means you’re only acknowledging who we are on the surface, how many years we’ve had as opposed to what we’ve done with them, measuring us by how many days have passed as opposed to how much we’ve grown from them.
6. We need to be left alone regularly. We take our solitude seriously, it’s our recouping period. It’s time to reflect and sort through what’s going on. We are also typically of the belief that maintaining your ‘alone time’ apart from a relationship is absolutely crucial for its success.
7. We’re homebodies, we’re comfort-seekers. We’re much happier to know that we’re going to our old favorite diner this Friday than to some new swanky restaurant where we feel out of place. Propose staying in bed all day and ordering takeout and reading next to each other quietly and we’ll pretty much melt into a puddle of love. We like routine.
8. Which is not to say that we aren’t adventurous, just that we also want stability. We may want to travel the world, but we want a comfortable home to return to. (Apply that as a metaphor for relationships.)
9. We’re hyper-aware. We’re analytical/philosophical by nature, and as we’re just simply interested in the greater/deeper meaning of things, we can be prone to over-thinking it. Our desire to understand things on a visceral level often leads us to all but writing a thesis on the period placement of your last text message. We know it’s unflattering and unnecessary, but sometimes it’s hard to jump from one mindset to another.
10. We know what we want, and we need you to know what you want as well. As I said before, intimacy for us is communication, but if you have nothing to say but an echo of our sentiments, you’re not bringing your genuine self to the table, and we’re not interested in a surface-level thing.
The problem with a history of depression and anxiety is that you can never know if you’re “just having one of those weeks” or if you’re sliding back down into those places you swore you’d never go again.